How can you tell that you're a washed up entertainer? One indication is a South African beer company asks you to do a commercial with a popular song of yours from twenty years ago. The other indicator, you're Vanilla Ice.

We would give almost anything to have been a tarot card reader back in 1990 to see ole Robert Matthew Van Winkle's face when we told him this is what his life would be like in the future. Then again... what the hell are we talking about, he's probably known things were going to end up like this all along.