When I was a little kid, one of these winged bastards stole my fucking socks off my feet while I sat in a stroller. Professional fisherman, Drew Gregory had a similar experience... well, except for the fact that he got taken down by a goose, and he's a grown man. After fishing around some geese for about an hour, one decided it no longer liked Drew's company.

Dear Lord of the Geese,

I want you to fly your feathery ass to your goose lair and fetch me my fucking sock.*

Thanks

* This request is based on the assumption that there is a ruler of all geese and that socks stolen by said geese are stored in a cavern until an angry request is made to them decades later.