24-year-old Gavin Stanger was sent to jail. He decided there were some items he absolutely couldn't live without, so naturally, he brought them along. His chosen method for transporting his belonging? His anus. Now, we've all heard of this before, but there are two rather shocking things about Stanger's attempt to smuggle contraband. First would be the astonishing amount of goods he had crammed up there: a green cigarette lighter, cigarette rolling papers, a golf-ball size baggie of tobacco, a bottle of tattoo ink, eight tattoo needles, a one-inch-long smoking pipe and a small baggie of suspected marijuana. Stanger made it through his initial pat down and later a strip search without being caught. He wasn't busted until after his searches, when he was left isolated in a holding cell for 90 minutes. A jailer walked in and noticed a plastic bag and duct tape floating in the toilet. The second shocking part would be the length of his prison sentence; 3 days for a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct. Couldn't you have just brought a book?

via Wanatchee World

A friend (yes I have friends) sent me this on Thursday, and honestly, I didn't post it because I assumed it was just an April Fools' Day gag. The Double Down, a bacon sandwich between two pieces of fried chicken "bread" is in fact real. Starting April 12th, fatties all over our fair country will be able to quickly shorten their life expectancy. Their promotional site even has a counter, letting you know exactly when you will expire.

Do you know what's a bad idea? Texting while driving is a bad idea. Hell, texting while walking has proven lethal. Both are horrible ideas. I guess I should've asked: Do you know what's a REALLY bad idea? Attempting to shave your lady parts while driving, now that, that is the mother of all bad ideas. Ok, so we are all in agreement that this is by far one of the most ridiculous things you could possibly be doing while driving, but the thing is, it gets a little more odd. While tending to her bikini zone, 37-year-old Megan Mariah Barnes let the passenger take control of the steering wheel and plowed her Thunderbird into the back of another car in the Florida Keys. She was on her way to meet her boyfriend, and wanted to be ready when she saw him. The passenger operating the car, well, that would be her ex-husband. On top of this, Barnes was convicted the day before the accident of a DUI and driving with a suspended license. Why oh why did you not complete the cycle and Darwin yourself out of existence Megan? The arresting officer commented that he never thought any story would top a traffic stop he had in the exact same spot 10 years ago. The man he pulled over back then had multiple syringes sticking out of his arm while driving.

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